Over the years, the Loremen have accumulated a few in-jokes and recurring characters from the annals of folklore. For the benefit of listeners new and old, this glossary will be a collection of some of our favourite ‘runners’, including links to the episodes in which they first appeared.
B
- Baby Zombie
- Step outside James Shakeshaft’s shed on the stroke of midnight and climb over a wall, and you might find what appears to be a tiny tombstone. Who can say whether a zombie baby crawls out of that grave on moonless nights?
Known for: Making noises during livestreams.
First appearance: Loremen S3 E6 – The Ghost of Cuthbert Shields
C
- Chester-le-Street (Chester the street)
- Chester-le-Street is a town in County Durham, known for having had an Argos and possibly a Curry’s PC World. Its name translates into English as “Chester the street.”
Known for: being excessively popular with the monks carrying St. Cuthbert’s remains to their final resting place in (the then-unbuilt) Durham Cathedral (See S1 E6).
First appearance: Loremen S1 E3 – Pelton Brag
- Collops
- A small cut of meat, especially bacon. Something you would not want to be cut into.
Known for: Being a convenient size for transportation by pillowcase.
First appearance: S1 E1 – Parcy Reed & Poppa Bayliss
D
- Dorset
- See: In Dorset.
- Dust
- In Loremen terms, ‘dust’ refers to the tendency for evidence of the supernatural to crumble into dust at just the right moment.
Catchphrase: It must be dust.
Known for: Being crumbled into.
First appearance: S1 E5 – Minster Lovell & Silky
E
- Endorse it
- See: In Dorset.
F
- Friend of the show / Friend of the podcast
- When a person or thing features in more than one episode, they achieve the status of friend of the show. Friends of the show include the antiquarian Sabine Baring-Gould, the comedian Chris Cantrill, the village Chipping Campden, the popstar Michael Jackson, gravity and God.
Known for: Appearing on the Loremen podcast.
First appearance: S1 E4 – The Campden Wonder
- Friendly / “Friendly”
- An adjective describing the
chillingrobotic voice of avuncular alien presence Sam the Sandown Clown.
Known for: Being a relaxing and enjoyable voice, enjoyed by children and adults alike.
First appearance: S3E90 – Sam the Sandown Clown with Marek Larwood
G
- Ghost Club, the
- Founded in 1862, The Ghost Club is a society devoted to paranormal research and petty infighting. Peter Underwood, Ghost President from 1962 to 1993, makes an appearance in several Loremen cases.
Not to be confused with: The Ghost Club Society (Founded in 1993 by *checks notes* Peter Underwood).
First appearance: S2 E2 – Shelley’s Ghost & Malmesbury Abbey
I
- In Dorset (Endorse It)
- A beloved old chestnut:
Person A asks if a place (e.g. Poole) is, ‘in Dorset?’
Person B (a wag) replies, ‘Course I would, I bloody love the place.’
Known for: Being surprisingly difficult to get right.
First appearance: S1 E7 – Baa & The Wilnecker Paradox
L
- Leave Me Alone
- The catchphrase of the antisocial Jinmenken – a human-faced dog-spirit from Japan, who just wants five minutes of peace and quiet.
Catchphrase: Leave me alone.
First appearance: S2 E1 – Jinmenken & Twelve Parsons
- Let The Cows Decide
- A catchphrase born from feverish minds and magical bovine wee. When all seems lost and you know not what to choose – why, friend, it is time to let the cows decide.
First Appearance: S3 E103 – The Wells of St Walstan – LIVE!
Known for: Being the most democratic way of deciding matters concerning cattle.
Not to be confused with: (Mooie Warning) The Mooies.
- Little Jimmy Shakes
- The pre-teen folklorist we know as James Shakeshaft. (See: Loremen.)
- Lorefolk, the
- Listeners to the Loremen podcast.
Known for: Their tendency to trigger – Mooie Warning – Mooie Warnings. (See: Mooies, the.)
Catchphrases:
• The sea! The sea!
• Quoz!
• Let the cows decide!
• Some reservoirs? Some fish! (call and response)
First appearance: S3E44 – The Wyck Rissington Maze
- Loremen / Loreboys / Lorebois / Loreboyz
- The Loremen are James Shakeshaft and Alasdair Beckett-King: tall, white men from England.
Catchphrase: Loreboys nether say die.
First appearance: The Trailer
M
- Mooies, the
- Mooie Warning: This entry features Mooie References.
The Mooies are a form of shadow-creature that haunted Little Jimmy Shakes and his school pals. Mooie Warnings should be given before discussing the Mooies. Ideally, Mooie Warnings should be given before giving a Mooie Warning.
Known for: The mere fact that mentioning the Mooies can invoke a Mooie Incident.
First appearance: S3 E9 – The Roaring Bull of Bagbury
P
- Pokéman
- A portmanteau of the words ‘pocket’ and ‘man’.
Known for: Being a horrible little man who lives in your pocket.
First appearance: S3 E73 – The Green Lady with Poppy Hillstead
Catchphrase: You’ll never catch us all!
- Polterguy
- An invisible spirit that makes its presence known through sounds and small acts of violence. Polterguy is German for “noisy guy”.
AKA: A poltergeist.
Known for: Slamming doors, knocking things off shelves, classic mischief.
See: Tour Guy.
First appearance (maybe): S3E81 – The Stow Poltergeist
- Poo Anecdotes
- As a parent of young children, James Shakeshaft has many poo-based stories in his rolodex. We do our best to prevent him from including any in the Loremen podcast, but a few slip out.
Known for: Being a bit much.
First appearance: S1 E2 – Tom, Dick and Harry & Blue Cap
- Poo-Poo Stinks
- A particularly unlikeable dog, on display (stuffed) in Nettlestone Priory at the time of little Jimmy Shakes’s visit to the Isle of Wight. Also a channel in the Lorefolk Discord dedicated, we hope, to dogs.
Known for: Being the worst.
First Appearance: S3 E85 – The Blue Girl of Nettlestone Priory
Q
- Quentin Tarantino
- Pronounced Quin-‘it-in Ter-‘an-tinno. Mr. Tarantino is a popular film director.
Known for: being invoked when a story boasts excessive, bloody violence (as opposed to close-ups of feet).
First appearance: S1 E1 – Parcy Reed & Poppa Bayliss
- Quoz!
- An odd or absurd thing or person.
Known for: Being an entertaining word to shout at just about any time, for just about any reason.
“When a mischievous urchin wished to annoy a passenger, and create mirth for his comrades, he looked him in the face, and cried out Quoz!” The Madness of Crowds (1852) by Charles Mackay.
First appearance: S3 54 – The Madness of Crowds
R
- Ropes of Sand / Ropes of Sifted Sand
- No, not the 1949 movie of the same name! As an idiom, ‘ropes of sand’ are similar to ‘feet of clay’ – risky and unstable. As the Loremen encounter them in legend, they’re something that’s difficult (or impossible) to make.
Known for: Being in a Tom Waits song: “I danced along a coloured wind / Dangled from a rope of sand / You must say goodbye to me”
First appearance: Loremen S1 E4 – Bad Lord Soulis
S
- Sand
- See: Ropes of Sand.
- Screetonizer, the
- AKA Paul Screeton. A journalist and author with an interest in the folklore of North-East England.
Known for: Sceptical research into local legends. Screetony, if you will.
First appearance: S2 E3 – The Trials of Jan Tregeagle & The Hartlepool Monkey
- Sea, the! Sea, the!
- The sea! The sea!
Known for: The sea! The sea!
Catchphrase: The sea! The sea!
First appearance: S3 E54 – The Madness of Crowds
- Shakeshaft, ‘Donkey’
- ‘Donkey’ was the nickname given to James Shakeshaft’s great-grandfather. According to legend, the appellation came from Donkey’s reputation as a hard worker. And if you believe that…
Known for: Throwing a policeman in the canal.
First appearance: S3 E44 – The Wyck Rissington Maze
- Shirikodama
- According to disgusting Japanese legends, the shirikodama or ‘anus ball’ is a mysterious organ residing in your downstairs department.
Known for: Being irresistible to aquatic yōkai known as kappa, so watch it.
First appearance: S3 E37 – The Kappa with Yuriko Kotani
T
- Thicknesse, Captain Philip
- Captain Philip Thicknesse (1719 – 1792) was a notorious liar, terrible poet and world-class grudge-holder. Thicknesse pursued bitter vendettas against pretty much everyone he met.
Catchphrase: Witness the Thicknesse.
Known for: Giving his son ALL the fingers.
First appearance: S2 E1 – The London Monster
- Tombstone, Tiny
- See: Baby Zombie.
- Tour Guy
- The guy who shows you around a tourist attraction: the Tour Guy.
Intrepid holidaymakers Dawn & Dave were unimpressed with Peak Cavern (AKA The Devil’s Arse). In their review entitled “I haven’t got the words waste of money,” they complained that, “it’s nearly a tenner each to listen to some Boring tour guy going on and on and on about some caves.”
Known for: Being an absolute “waist” of your time, according to Zhorzh. “20 minutes listen how make a rope. Really?” (Emphasis ours.)
First appearance: S3 E43 – The Green Children of Woolpit
- Traybakes / Trehbehks
- Flat cakes, baked in trays, cut into squares and served as slices. Traybakes are available at the House of Meg Tea Room in Gilsland and, presumably, elsewhere.
Known for: The gusto with which they are devoured by Deputy Loreperson Chris Cantrill.
First appearance: S3E55 – The Tale of Meg Merrilies with Chris Cantrill
U
- Underwood, Peter
- See: Ghost Club.
Z
- Zombie Baby
- See: Baby Zombie.