The Loremen Glossary

Ove the years, the Loremen have accumulated a few in-jokes and recurring characters from the annals of folklore. For the benefit of listeners new and old, this glossary will be a collection of some of our favourite ‘runners’, including links to the episodes in which they first appeared.

B
Baby Zombie
Step outside James Shakeshaft’s shed on the stroke of midnight and climb over a wall, and you might find what appears to be a tiny tombstone. Who can say whether a zombie baby crawls out of that grave on moonless nights?

Known for: Making noises during livestreams.

First appearance: Loremen S3 E6 – The Ghost of Cuthbert Shields
C
Chester-le-Street (Chester the street)
Chester-le-Street is a town in County Durham, known for having had an Argos and possibly a Curry’s PC World. Its name translates into English as “Chester the street.”

Known for: being excessively popular with the monks carrying St. Cuthbert’s remains to their final resting place in (the then-unbuilt) Durham Cathedral (See S1 E6).

First appearance: Loremen S1 E3 – Pelton Brag
Collops
A small cut of meat, especially bacon. Something you would not want to be cut into.

Known for: Being a convenient size for transportation by pillowcase.

First appearance: S1 E1 – Parcy Reed & Poppa Bayliss
D
Dorset
See: In Dorset.
Dust
In Loremen terms, ‘dust’ refers to the tendency for evidence of the supernatural to crumble into dust at just the right moment.

Catchphrase: It must be dust.

Known for: Being crumbled into.

First appearance: S1 E5 – Minster Lovell & Silky
E
Endorse it
See: In Dorset.
F
Friend of the show / Friend of the podcast
When a person or thing features in more than one episode, they achieve the status of friend of the show. Friends of the show include the antiquarian Sabine Baring-Gould, the comedian Chris Cantrill, the village Chipping Campden, the popstar Michael Jackson, gravity and God.

Known for: Appearing on the Loremen podcast.

First appearance: S1 E4 – The Campden Wonder
G
Ghost Club, the
Founded in 1862, The Ghost Club is a society devoted to paranormal research and petty infighting. Peter Underwood, Ghost President from 1962 to 1993, makes an appearance in several Loremen cases.

Not to be confused with: The Ghost Club Society (Founded in 1993 by *checks notes* Peter Underwood).

First appearance: S2 E2 – Shelley’s Ghost & Malmesbury Abbey
I
In Dorset (Endorse It)
A beloved old chestnut:

Person A asks if a place (e.g. Poole) is, ‘in Dorset?’
Person B (a wag) replies, ‘Course I would, I bloody love the place.’

Known for: Being surprisingly difficult to get right.

First appearance: S1 E7 – Baa & The Wilnecker Paradox
L
Leave Me Alone
The catchphrase of the antisocial Jinmenken – a human-faced dog-spirit from Japan, who just wants five minutes of peace and quiet.

Catchphrase: Leave me alone.

First appearance: S2 E1 – Jinmenken & Twelve Parsons
Little Jimmy Shakes
The pre-teen folklorist we know as James Shakeshaft. (See: Loremen.)
Lorefolk, the
Listeners to the Loremen podcast.

Known for: Their tendency to trigger – Mooie Warning – Mooie Warnings. (See: Mooies, the.)

Catchphrases: The sea! The sea! & Quoz!

First appearance: S3E44 – The Wyck Rissington Maze
Loremen / Loreboys / Lorebois / Loreboyz
The Loremen are James Shakeshaft and Alasdair Beckett-King: tall, white men from England.

Catchphrase: Loreboys nether say die.

First appearance: The Trailer
M
Mooies, the
Mooie Warning: This entry features Mooie References.

The Mooies are a form of shadow-creature that haunted Little Jimmy Shakes and his school pals. Mooie Warnings should be given before discussing the Mooies. Ideally, Mooie Warnings should be given before giving a Mooie Warning.

Known for: The mere fact that mentioning the Mooies can invoke a Mooie Incident.

First appearance: S3 E9 – The Roaring Bull of Bagbury
P
Poo Anecdotes
As a parent of young children, James Shakeshaft has many poo-based stories in his rolodex. We do our best to prevent him from including any in the Loremen podcast, but a few slip out.

Known for: Being a bit much.

First appearance: S1 E2 – Tom, Dick and Harry & Blue Cap
Q
Quentin Tarantino
Pronounced Quin-‘it-in Ter-‘an-tinno. Mr. Tarantino is a popular film director.

Known for: being invoked when a story boasts excessive, bloody violence (as opposed to close-ups of feet).

First appearance: S1 E1 – Parcy Reed & Poppa Bayliss
Quoz!
An odd or absurd thing or person.

Known for: Being an entertaining word to shout at just about any time, for just about any reason.

“When a mischievous urchin wished to annoy a passenger, and create mirth for his comrades, he looked him in the face, and cried out Quoz!” The Madness of Crowds (1852) by Charles Mackay.

First appearance: S3 54 – The Madness of Crowds
R
Ropes of Sand / Ropes of Sifted Sand
No, not the 1949 movie of the same name! As an idiom, ‘ropes of sand’ are similar to ‘feet of clay’ – risky and unstable. As the Loremen encounter them in legend, they’re something that’s difficult (or impossible) to make.

Known for: Being in a Tom Waits song: “I danced along a coloured wind / Dangled from a rope of sand / You must say goodbye to me”

First appearance: Loremen S1 E4 – Bad Lord Soulis

S
Sand
See: Ropes of Sand.
Screetonizer, the
AKA Paul Screeton. A journalist and author with an interest in the folklore of North-East England.

Known for: Sceptical research into local legends. Screetony, if you will.

First appearance: S2 E3 – The Trials of Jan Tregeagle & The Hartlepool Monkey
Sea, the! Sea, the!
The sea! The sea!

Known for: The sea! The sea!

Catchphrase: The sea! The sea!

First appearance: S3 E54 – The Madness of Crowds
Shakeshaft, ‘Donkey’
‘Donkey’ was the nickname given to James Shakeshaft’s great-grandfather. According to legend, the appellation came from Donkey’s reputation as a hard worker. And if you believe that…

Known for: Throwing a policeman in the canal.

First appearance: S3 E44 – The Wyck Rissington Maze
Shirikodama
According to disgusting Japanese legends, the shirikodama or ‘anus ball’ is a mysterious organ residing in your downstairs department.

Known for: Being irresistible to aquatic yōkai known as kappa, so watch it.

First appearance: S3 E37 – The Kappa with Yuriko Kotani
T
Thicknesse, Captain Philip
Captain Philip Thicknesse (1719 – 1792) was a notorious liar, terrible poet and world-class grudge-holder. Thicknesse pursued bitter vendettas against pretty much everyone he met.

Catchphrase: Witness the Thicknesse.

Known for: Giving his son ALL the fingers.

First appearance: S2 E1 – The London Monster
Tombstone, Tiny
See: Baby Zombie.
Tour Guy
The guy who shows you around a tourist attraction: the Tour Guy.

Intrepid holidaymakers Dawn & Dave were unimpressed with Peak Cavern (AKA The Devil’s Arse). In their review entitled “I haven’t got the words waste of money,” they complained that, “it’s nearly a tenner each to listen to some Boring tour guy going on and on and on about some caves.”

Known for: Being an absolute “waist” of your time, according to Zhorzh. “20 minutes listen how make a rope. Really?” (Emphasis ours.)

First appearance: S3 E43 – The Green Children of Woolpit
Traybakes / Trehbehks
Flat cakes, baked in trays, cut into squares and served as slices. Traybakes are available at the House of Meg Tea Room in Gilsland and, presumably, elsewhere.

Known for: The gusto with which they are devoured by Deputy Loreperson Chris Cantrill.

First appearance: S3E55 – The Tale of Meg Merrilies with Chris Cantrill
U
Underwood, Peter
See: Ghost Club.
Z
Zombie Baby
See: Baby Zombie.